


hymns in the book of shadow

by nuuneyraegon



Category: Original Work
Genre: Disturbing Themes, Drabble Collection, Gen, Implied abuse, Short, prose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-09-12 15:03:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16875084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuuneyraegon/pseuds/nuuneyraegon
Summary: A series of short, disconnected drabbles.





	1. oxygen

oxygen

i am standing. i breathe, inhaling the night's air, sharp as a needle.  
i stretch out my hands. they touch cold stone. tunnel walls.  
here i am.

the light approaches. a whistle blows, echoing throughout the extent of my world.  
the tracks begin to vibrate underneath me. i stay.

louder and louder. it's coming. i await it.  
i throw my arms out in an embrace.  
i do not know what i am embracing.

the whistle blasts. a shouting parent. a yell from a stranger.  
the light comes roaring. 

i jump

 

and i land.  
my shoes clatter against the platform. a gust of wind tears past me, my hair dancing along with it.

i make it this time.  
i breathe again. perhaps it's to reward myself.  
i am awake. i am aware. my heart thunders against my chest, and i feel it.

death smiles. perhaps he is charmed.  
charmed at my flirtations which have endured for years.  
i will not stop.

those who dream will always wake up before they die.  
those who are conscious follow suit.


	2. shutter

shutter

the camera’s shutter is quiet, as the impressions of light and shadow are swallowed up by its retina. there is no other sound, aside from the girl’s soft, slow breath.

the vines continue to grow. they creep inexorably outwards, slowly wrapping around her wrists. trapped.

they stand there. silently. watching. the camera rests in their hands, the camera that they are incapable of putting down.

she mumbles something in her sleep. 

“Let the wolf come near.”

click.

they take another picture. they can do nothing else.

their heart beats in the rhythm of the shutter. 

click. click. click.

the wolf watches.


	3. affectionate

affectionate 

she adores him.  
he is pleased. there is beauty reflected in his eyes.  
she approaches slowly, glides toward his throne.  
presents gifts. cookies, tokens of affection.  
he smiles.  
it is good.  
but he needs more.

he pats the spot next to him. flexes his fingers impatiently.   
she obeys the king.  
she is blinded.   
he strokes her cheek with a slender finger.  
her soft skin. the silk of her form.  
he does not kiss her.

the maid is content.  
she is secure.  
restrained.  
her body and her heart are the same.  
the king looks back at her.  
embraces her with both arms

 

and crushes her bones.  
slices her flesh.  
tastes her blood.  
he loves her.  
he loves her like a child would their plaything.  
her last smile is frozen on her face.  
he knows that she is happy.

she is placed on the floor.   
still. placid. peaceful.   
her blood stains her lips. makeup.  
now she is perfect.  
he has repaired her.

she still adores him.  
and always will.   
he has seen to it.


	4. corpse

corpse

...why is there a body on the floor?

huh? no, there isn't?

yes, there is. it's lying right there. it smells terrible. 

i don't smell anything.

the body's right under your feet! i think it's rotting!

don't be so emotional. there's nothing to worry about.

b-but...it's a corpse! it's a dead human!

for the last time, there's no body. i think you're just imagining things.

can you really not see it?

really? you're going to keep insisting that there's a body? how much attention do you want?

i  _don't want attention!!_

oh, look at you. you can't even stay rational, can you? this is so typical of you, letting your delusions take over and lying to me.

but...i'm not lying. there's a corpse. it's right under me. there's...a few maggots, too...

do you really have to keep doing this? there is no corpse.

...

you're pathetic. look at that. you're going to start crying because i caught you lying?

...i'm not lying.

why do you need to be so defensive? i don't have time for your games. there's no corpse there.

...i could have sworn it was...

i swear, you just make everything up. are you bipolar or something?

no...

goddamn drama queen. you need help.

i'm sorry...i really didn't mean to-

i'm glad you're finally apologizing. i don't see why you had to lie about the body.

...i don't know...either.

god, you have problems. it's okay, though, i still love you.

i know...thank you.

 

 

 _and they leave as a corpse rots away on the floor._  


	5. love

love

 

do you love me?

do you enjoy my presence?

do you think to yourself, late at night,

fantasize about touching me?

kisses, close contact.

 

would you care?

would you comfort me?

would you cry if i died,

my corpse bloated beyond recognition?

green, with a final expression on its face.

 

can you tell me?

can you be honest?

can you look me in the eyes and talk to me,

tell me that i am perfect?

or would you tell the truth?

 

should you stay with me?

should you leave?

...

no, i know the answer to that one.

i know it so well, that i will break the format.

the format of my thinking.

 

you're here.

in the back of my mind.

a parasite. sapping my energy.

sucking my strength like the straw in a glass of lemonade.

you won't leave.

 

so tell me, then, why?

why do you do this?

 

do you hate me?

do you love me?

do you look at me and see something,

something that cannot be comprehended?

you know, i'm beginning to wonder what the point of my format is.

but that is irrelevant.

 

get out.

get out.

GET OUT.

GET OUT OF ME.

GET OUT offf MEe....

,,GETs kOUU..T O FM.;E

g,,gEETO,,TU OOF MME....

GETEE O..UO;OT oOff M MhEE.

 

GET

OUT

OF

ME.

 

 

or i will destroy your dwelling.


	6. fabricated

fabricated

with the flip of a switch, my life began.  
a surge of electricity coursed through my body  
and i awoke.

my papa knew everything.  
every one of my questions was explained, indulged,  
except when i asked what was outside the house.  
then he went quiet and refused to look at me.

i loved to read books. but,  
all of them mentioned families. mothers.  
i did not have a mother.  
for the first time, i didn’t feel normal.

but the time i truly discovered that fact,  
with a sharp knife and a split in my skin,  
i saw black.  
not red.

my papa was silent for a very long time after he fixed me.  
his face was pale. like a corpse.  
he eventually told me everything. that he made me, but not like most papas.  
he built me, piece by piece.

papa said he was still my father.  
but now, i wasn’t so sure.  
did papa really love me?  
or had he just created me as a toy?

i found the knife again.  
sliced my skin open.  
pulled at the wires underneath.  
tossed them to the floor.  
i didn’t know what i was doing. it didn’t matter.

i was fake. fabricated.

papa caught me. i wasn’t surprised.  
he fixed me again. i wasn’t surprised.   
then he apologized.  
and i was surprised.

he asked if i hated him. if he had been selfish.  
i’d thought the same thing too, but when he said it  
i realized then that it couldn’t be true.

i am different.  
so are all people.  
some like their cereal without milk.  
some only watch french art films.  
some always wear a purple hat.   
i am like that, too.  
my blood is black. my veins are wires. my heart is metal.  
and they are all real.


	7. the third

the third

a simple resonance  
like the flutter of a bird’s wings  
the rustling of the branches  
the rivers of dopamine in my veins

these don’t last, do they?  
that is what was expected of the eiffel tower  
yet the sun has been lapped by us thrice

it is quiet, yes, but  
loneliness has become muted  
stars twinkle brighter  
sometimes, everything is okay

my heart is red  
yours is blue  
and i realise, now more than ever  
i’ve always liked violet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the love of my life, animewonderlandninja. i’ve always hated valentine’s day, but...


End file.
